It’s not easy to just say goodbye to the thing, event, person.
Because without even knowing, within very short duration we feel like that thing, event, the person is something that is us, not only part of us but much more.
We keep on getting dependent on that thing, event, person and cannot even imagine our life without them.
When the time comes for separation, we feel like hugging it like our last breath; we cry, mourn, get drowned in despair and nothing seems right ever again. And for days we cannot take it. We sit and our mind fleets toward that particular thing, event, especially toward that person who took away the major part of us with him/her.
But ultimately we need to let go, with despair, sometimes with anger, hatred, and bitterness.
What if there is a better way to do all that?
I call it “touching the person, thing, event fully, but never getting drowned in them” in whatever you do.
Let’s imagine, you are in love with a person. You love so much that even breathing without him/her is difficult.
What I want you to do now is to practice “negative visualization”. Imagine the worst has happened. You have lost that person. And that person is no more there in your life. What would you do?
There are few things you can do when you visualize something negatively –
1. It stretches your mind to the possibility of accepting the worst situation even if it seems not to happen at all in near future, but you never know.
2. It makes you cry, scream, feel bad right away instead of waiting for future to hand you that which helps you get ready if something goes wrong.
3. It prepares you for the worst situation when you are only thinking about the best.
4. It helps you embrace impermanence with your heart and head open.
By negatively visualizing the things which your mind imagines to be the worst you open the floodgate for possibilities –
1. You never take granted the person, thing or event as you know they are not going to stay forever.
2. You give yourself fully to the person, thing or event when you know time is a fleeting concept and it is never going to be same anyway.
3. You live much more fully amid uncertainty and anxiousness as you know that every moment is uncertain and anything can happen at any time without prior notice.
Thus, my “touching the person, thing, event fully, but never getting drowned in them” concept is much better way to deal with life’s mishaps.
For making my philosophy ingrained in my daily life, whenever I do something or be with someone or enjoy/cherish something, I ask myself the opposite question –
What would I do if whatever I am expecting would not come in fruition/never happen again/would not become reality?
Once I ask this question, I just step back from the scene I am in and can view the scene from distance and get a big picture of all that is happening.
Being able to walk away is not easy, I know.
But if nothing matters whether they remain in your life or not or else whether you remain in their life or not, then you will see, everything will start to matter every moment with every gasping of your breath!